I’m AweSTRUCK

 

Nearing my big day….

many says i have lost pounds
some say it will be the most stressful time of my life.. (i agree. Thank God it’s only once a lifetime!)
i am truly busy with lots of planning, designing, and other stressful major and patty stuffs
i’m also juggling it with my assignments and master subjects
i have datelines to worry, and datelines to set
i have lots of things to prepare for the shifting of house
loads of cleaning and scrubbin to be done at new premises
appreciation gifts, little here and there(s) are costly $$

my list can go on.. and BORE YOU!

BUT still i’m awestruck! Last wednesday i preached in my church about the worth of serving God and that is JOY! A common word that we discount it’s worth and take it for granted. We minimize the limits of joy many a times

But at this juncture of life, season and time. I found the Joy of God has been more that just it has been my STRENGTH. It sustained me through my long-list of , listed above.

My joy came in terms of speedy recovery from flu, people being a BLESSING and Providence from God, warehouse sales, mega sales all contributed to us being able to get our necessities for the shiftings.

The most amazing thing is that God worked for me every single detail of my big day. God helped in terms of idea for designing, the right location to call up to book, the place to look for the gifts and stuffs we need, providing people to bless us in many ways (financially, materially, skill, ideas, manpower).

I’m awestruck SO AWESTRUCK how REAL GOD can actually be. He was not like some magician that with a fling of his wand everything was perfect-that’s fantasy. BUT he was WORKING with me through the whole process and its a great comfort to know the God of the universe is part of the working team. What is there to be worried??

As the days unfolds, i am seeing that all that i ever dream of for my BIG DAY it’s actually coming true. A Dream Come True. I’m not the richest girl on the planet, if you know me i’m just an average student, serving God full time…. but still at the end I’m receiving so much I can’t count. So much with all my dreams and fantasy in it too!!! God truly knows the desires of our heart. And though so much has been received, everything has been only at a reasonably low cost!!.. Though i may not be the richest but my God of the universe owns evrything and he blesses His children RICHLY!!

Serving God is worth it….. cos’ nothing can compare to that JOY which makes God SO SO REAL in my LIFE!

 

I can lie and go back to bed knowing my dreams will come true, because God holds my DREAM & He is REAL!

Deep Thoughts

I was just thinking deeper …

What if I was told my life here on earth would be but a brief span? What would I do now?

How would I live every moment?

I guess, I will live like I never hated a single soul.

I wouldn’t fail to lift another person up even I have no ounce of strength left.

I would make sure I nurse a sick person the best I could if I was feeling weak myself

I would cheer up another person even if I felt like crying that moment

I would feed another hungry soul even if I felt total emptiness

I would give another person the support she needed even if I wished all my life for someone’s support

I would be your best friend even if I have lost many

I would give my all to ease your hurt and pain, wipe that tear, calm your fears and anxiousness, cheer you on, pray with you, even if in my lifetime no one ever did that to me

I would  look into the eye of every soul I meet in college and church and silently thank God for bringing you into my life

No matter what I’ve been through, you’ll never fail to have my smile

 

What counts that moment in time is not what others have done or what I’ve been through

but all that matters is

 the joy,  fulfillment and the comfort of knowing you have lived life being that Someone to others.

 

Depressing as it may sound but its a humble reality of life

I’m trying to accomplish these things.

If Only Someone Could Hear Me

EVERYDAY…

the words haunt me

makes me confused, discouraged, alone and outcast

Evryday I question myself about the accusations and the remarks against me

I really don’t understand why

Why would someone, who is least expected to do such thing, does this to me

Why would he hold such contempt against me

Why would he gather forces against me

Even when I have nothing against them

Why can’t he walk his talk

I Really Don’t Know

I wish I could ask him or someone why

But I don’t seem to be able to find anyone who has the answers

Dear God Please Bring Justice & Turn The Tide

I’m At The Breaking Point

At home yet not

 

P/S :Thanks Lionel for being there

You Give And Take Away

Just few weeks ago, things were in a topsy-turvy state.I was confused. I know God has blessed us in many ways. Making things work out, opening doors but why it seems like as we walked through those open doors we only found not an open way but dead ends.Hitting brick walls almost every time makes me wonder if in the first place those open doors were really God’s will or did I do anything wrong to jeopadize the blessings.

Very much in an anxious, desperate and discouraged mood, there was literally nothing I could do but pray, wait and hang on.On one of those discouraging nights I plugged in my mp3 and went online, and a friend of mine… Actually I have not even met him. He’s my best friend’s boyfriend who came on and pop a message on MSN. He asked how was my plans going on. I told him briefly the topsy turvy-ness of the plans. He’s a very devoted Christian, one of those rare ones you ever find in this modern culture. And suddenly as I finished typing my sentence about my situation, the song “Blessed Be Your Name” by Matt Redman played on my mp3. Almost immediately, my friend replied on msn saying, “He give and take away but still blessed be His name”. Simple as that reply was it hit me. It lift my Spirit. I did not say much more to my friend cos’ that was all that was needed at that moment. I did not tell him the impact of his words. I knew it was God’s comforting me. I merely thanked my friend and signed out. As the song played I knew that sometimes I just cant figure out why God give and take away the same thing he just gave. It just doesn’t make sense. The goodness of God that I know of just doen;t coincide with the thought of God taking away His goodness from me.

Till now, I have no answer from anyone nor from God the reason He took away but He gave me the answer that is to just still bless His name and leave it all to Him.

I felt like telling God this is easier said than done. True. But i guess when i started blessing God and trusting even when i do feel angry at God for pulling things back… I start seeing little windows of hope opening for both me and Lionel. Its the most challenging journey ever taken. I’m Blessed to have Lionel on this new journey.

Not easy in anyway,
we’re determining hard enough
to praise Him anyway,
whether we gain or loose

Not only do we want to thank God for Good times. But in the painful ones too.

Thankyou Dear God..

Would I count this window of hope as an answered prayer? Yes Absolutely!!

Prayed answered for previous post “DEAR GOD”

 

Here’s the lyrics of the song.

Blessed be your name
In the land that is plentiful
Where the streams of abundance flow
Blessed be your name

Blessed be your name
When I’m found in the desert place
Though I walk through the wilderness
Blessed be your name

Every blessing you pour out,
I turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say…
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be your glorious name

Blessed be your name
When the sun’s shining down on me
When the world’s all as it should be
Blessed be your name

Blessed be your name
On the road marked with suffering
Though there’s pain in the offering
Blessed be your name

Every blessing you pour out,
I turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say…
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be your glorious name

You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say
Lord, Blessed be your name

Click HERE to watch the video on You Tube

Dear God

I’m standing at the riverbank

So close yet so far

The torrents are raging

I need a miracle

 

I need You Dear God

The author of the miracle I need

Unworthy, undeserved

Dear God leave me not at the river’s edge

 

It seems impossible

It all seems too hard

Sometimes it looks like a closed door

Everyone is watching what will happen next

 

Dear God, it’s hard to trust

But I’ll choose to cast my cares on you

Make a path through that torrent

In your plan and time

 

Dear God, Thank You

The Mark of A New Journey

This marks a new milestone of the journey

A new journey of joy, love, laughter, tears, even uncertainties

Your mind may already be filled with questions to ask me

It’s okay…

I am prepared for the many reactions, remarks and expressions I’ll receive

Some will be there to support

some will be too stunned for words

some will just shrug and walk off

some will be as excited as I am

some will be sadden for me to leave

others may just think

i’m inadequate for this journey

whatever others may say, feel, think or react……

This journey will begin.. and it has already begun.

I don’t dare sayI’m fully ready

but I trust in the One who created me

to guide me

hold me

walk with me

and strengthen me through it all

 

               

 

                                  

 

(Photos taken with Sony Ericsson K5501)

 

 

 

God??!!

Where now? What now? and Why?

I’m helpless, weak, afraid, confused whether i’m right or wrong, i’m lost…………

I know not what and how else to pray…

This is all i can only do

One Fleeting Moment

Life is one fleeting moment in time;

There is no time to keep looking to left and envying friends’ riches

There is no time to keep looking to the right and admiring what other’s are achieving

There is only time to live my own life like it’s my last 5 minutes and then start it all over again….

Soon life will be over,

before you even acomplish everything you ever dreamed or planned

but every 5 minutes you lived as if it was your last 5 minutes,

matter will make your fleeting moment here

a life well-lived.

 

dear God help me remember this and not get distracted…. Amen 

Escaped!!

Here’s a news cutting from thestar online:

KUALA LUMPUR: A lorry driver lost control of his 10-tonne lorry near Taman Connaught, Cheras, here, at 9am Friday, ramming into seven vehicles.

A correction about this news. The time of the accident is about an hour plus earlier. This is proven because one of my church member passed by the accident site around 7.30 and it had already taken place.

oh well that’s so much about the error in the time. I’m just thankful when i heard about this incident from my church member who saw the accident. Usually i leave my house to drive to school at around 7 am which means i will pass by Connaught around the time of the accident. Thankfully today, I had to pick up a church member and drop her off at her house in PJ, so i decided to leave earlier to avoid the jam. Little did I know i was escaping the worst accident that ever happened in Cheras. A Lorry driver lost control of his vechicle came charging from the opposite lane onto the other lane, crashing into a number of vechicles causing the death of two people and injuring quite few others. One of the deceased was a motorist whose head was almost severed off. His head was dangling off the neck. Gruesome it may sound, but to think of it, I could be one of those involve in that freaky accident if i had not gone out of the house before 7am. Even if it’s not about getting involve in the accident I would probably be caught in the massive jam caused by the whole incident. Whichever, I’m so greatful for God’s protection.  

PICS of Cheras Horrific Accident

Lord, Whatever your will is, let it be done. Guide me and be my tutor.